Fun title, isn't it?
There are definitely pros and cons to knowing your spouse since preschool. One of the pros is you know them REALLY WELL and the surprises are minimal. Also, since Noah and I "liked" each other since jr. high, we don't have all the relationship baggage from other relationships. We only have baggage from our own relationship.
The hard part is when you forget that the other person is a different person then they were in jr. high. The problem can be when you remember something they said in 10th grade and you still think that they hold to that opinion today.
Noah was rather, shall we say, argumentative when he was younger. He always thought he was right and he would die on any hill, whether it be an ant hill or a mountain. He also was rather opinionated. I, of course, thought that he was super cool and I wanted him to like me. I knew he didn't like anything even slightly fashionable. It was a little obvious with his black sweat pants and all. So I was always careful and stayed away from my potentially totally cool side to avoid making him think that I was shallow and not worth being interested in.
But in 7th grade I got this pair of jeans. They were really wide leg jeans, which were in. At least I think they were. It was 2 years after this that green jeans were in vogue. At least they were in my little world. Anyway I got these jeans for $10. And although they were trendy, I thought I would risk the "Noah test". I remember we were standing underneath a tree at church. He said, "new jeans?" I said, "yeah, do you like them?" (why did I ask that??!?!) He said, "they are ok."
So I always thought they were just ok. Later I find out that he actually did really think they looked good (on me). But apparently his 8th grade anti trend wouldn't let him admit it. Or maybe he just didn't really want me to know what he thought.
So we moved on, and I didn't really learn from it. I have never considered myself to have low self confidence, but with this. Yes. Yes, I do. 8 years of marriage later I still frequently need to be reminded that it is POSSIBLE, and is in fact TRUE that he loves me for me, and that one little trendy pair of jeans is not going to change that.
4 comments:
For the record. I am, as Julie puts it, "Chronically Underwhelmed."
That means, "Yeah, they're alright," is a pretty decent endorsement!
Besides, if I had said, "Yeah, they're awesome," some impressionable 7th grade girl could have gotten the wrong idea.
Not that you're not hot in your jeans, then or now, but even back then I like you for a wide variety of qualities.
You people are funny.
I love this post! So true that stuff sticks in our heads and effects things later. I'm sure the jeans were hot and he was totally intimidated.
From now on, you should walk around feeling totally hot, even if you're trendy :)
So the "Grimy" sweatshirt from We Like Sheep and the beanie hat were actually anti-fashion statements so Noah would approve? That's true love, right there. :-)
Sally
Do you still have the trendy jeans? That would be so cool if you did. :)
Also, I wanted to mention that I am STILL laughing about your post a long time ago about your first "date" when that crazy man was telling you about the movie, "Speed" and said you looked like Sandra Bullock. That was so funny and entertaining to read, seriously. I even read part of it to my husband which he thought was quite funny.
And yes, even though the world comes crashing down when I leave the house (and my kids with hubby) it is so totally worth it.
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