Fairness

It's contemplative Julie again today.

It has been a tough couple months with lots of anxiety producing situations. You know, little stuff. Stuff like "the power locks on the van broke!", "I have a flat tire!", "Roman is hitting other children!", "people still don't understand Deacon!", "Lincoln has bumps all over his body!", "I am so tired all the time", "should I take a new position at work?", "should we spend the money to finish our basement?", "how can we fit everything we need to do in? what should we let go?", "how can we be healthier?"

And then there are the bigger questions. "What is going to happen with our economy?", "who is going to be elected as President?", "how many justices will they get to appoint in this four year term?", "What effect will the election have on our money, our freedom, our safety?", "Are we doing enough to raise our boys to be Godly men?", "What is going to happen with our jobs?", "What can we do for our friends that are really struggling with health problems and financial problems?"

This is why I am contemplative.

"Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:34)

But sometimes I feel like all of this is today's worries.

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You know we want our kids to share. Taking care of one another, loving our neighbor, is important stuff. We try to drive home the importance of sharing with others on a bigger scale then our family. But the lessons begin at home. How do we teach that it is a joy to give, and not something to be resentful of?

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So I was thinking about my kids. We encourage them to share with each other, and try to be as fair as possible. But some of their toys are not community toys. Some of their toys were not given to "the boys". Some of them were given to Deacon. Some to Roman. Some to Lincoln. And we encourage them to share those, but we don't force them to share. What do they learn if we force them to share? That sharing feels good?...no, they learn to be resentful.

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Yesterday I was imagining my kids as teenagers, or young adults. Scary thought. I imagined my oldest. He being older then the others has a pretty good job. He probably is more of saver, not a spender. He is living well.

Then there is my 2nd one. He is going to be a little younger, not in the workforce as long. He likes candy. A lot. I can see him spending his money. He probably doesn't have as much both because of his habits and because of his circumstances.

And then there is the baby. He is certainly younger and he is just getting started. It is just the way it is. He hasn't made irresponsible choices, but the career path he has chosen isn't very lucrative and he is struggling to get by with a little.

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Let's say that I didn't really have a way to help Roman and Lincoln. I just don't have any extra money laying around. But Deacon does. Deacon is doing well. What is fair? Should I intervene for the sake of my younger boys? Should I tell Deacon that he HAS to give money to his brothers? Is that fair? Then everyone has some.

But how does Deacon feel? Does he feel resentful that he has been bullied into giving up what he has earned without any say? Does he still feel motivated to succeed if he knows mommy is going to step in and take his money away for his brothers? Have I taken away any ability that he has to GIVE joyfully on his own?

And how does Roman feel? Is he glad to get the money? Is it going to help him to spend more wisely? Is it going to motivate him to work harder? Does he feel unuseful and purposeless?

And how does Lincoln feel? Is he motivated to continue to work hard daily? Is he afraid that if he does start earning more and succeeding that mommy will take his money for someone else? is he just glad that he now has some money that he can give away himself? Will he?

Is there a way I could teach my children better? Is there a way to offer incentives for giving to others instead of just doing it myself? Is there a way to make them want to share and to do it joyfully?

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As I have done some research about birth control, I have stumbled across some different pastors. And the verse that keeps popping into my mind is 1 Corinthians 1:11-13. It talks about people who follow different leaders. But the one we need to be following is Christ.

It is scary to see people following humans. Humans fail. Humans love power and wealth. Power corrupts, as they say. How do I keep my kids following Christ, instead of politicians, pastors or celebrities? How do I get them to understand that it is Christ, and should be Christians, that really love people and use things. And that it is the way of the world to use people and love things.

My prayer today is that all 5 of us can remember the difference.