Wednesday, May 28, 2014

The Diet

QOTD: D: "Mom, why are you trying to lose weight?"  Me: *laughing* "so I can look good".  (yeah, I know, probably not the most politically correct answer). D: "are you sure it is not so that Dad can carry you around like they do in comics, movies, and on people's wedding days?"  Me: "yeah, pretty sure that is never going to happen."  D: "why not?"  Me: "because I am not that much shorter than your dad.  It works better if the guy is really tall and the girl is shorter."

I am a person that likes to finish things, to accomplish things.  Parenting, which is my full time job, does not allow for much finishing or accomplishment.  You are never done parenting and the problems never cease.

You can't check things off of a "wife" list either.  You have to work constantly at your relationship, not take things for granted.  You don't finish and accomplish your entire marriage with a weekend check list.

I have never really made an effort to lose weight before, I have never really had to. In the last 10 years when I started to feel like I was gaining a little, I would be pregnant by the next month and would be no longer concerned. 

Some combination of needing to finish something, control something and the fact that my 5 pound weight variation had slowly crept up 5 pounds over the last couple of years got me motivated to lose 10 pounds by my birthday in June. 

That will put me at what I consider to be a really healthy, really lean weight for me.

So I started tracking calories and exercise and playing the numbers game using a website-  And do you know what?  It works.  If I stay at or under my calorie allotment for the day I lose weight at the rate I have told the site that I want to lose at. 

It is pretty incredible, and because I like to enter numbers in charts and obsess over things it works for me. 

I have cleaned up my eating a lot and have been very consious of where my extra calories are coming from (leftover PB & J that the kids didn't eat- probably didn't need that).  I have stopped snacking while I cook and have started making sure that the calories I am consuming are actually things that I want to be eating and will fill me up.

I get 1285 calories a day if I don't exercise.  That is so that I will lose 2 pounds a week.  That is not very many calories, in case you were wondering.  That is enough for 3 small meals.  No calories from beverages, no desserts.  I can eat that many calories in one meal easily.  But I am not starving, I am just making better choices.

And then I exercise in order to get extra calories.  Running 5 miles gives me a lot of wiggle room and even allows for dessert! And running faster is even better.

Eating cleaner, running faster and losing weight- that is the name of the game right now!  I don't know if I will actually be down 10 by my birthday, but I think I will be close- all in time to gain it back on vacation!

Sunday, May 11, 2014

After the Cupcake: A Mother's Day Morning

Mother's Day. 

It is a day meant for old mothers.  Not young ones.  At least that is what I have always said.

For a present, I say "I want quiet in the household".

They hear, "fight and be crazy".

I say, "All I want to do is stay home and relax"

And yet I usually get roped into going somewhere and sitting around making small talk.

I tell them I want a good picture of them all smiling in some cute pinterest-y way.

The boys hear, "I am trying to ruin your life by making you wear something nice" and the girls hear "This will be the perfect time to have a meltdown because my brother offered to help me out of the Suburban."

So this year I was glad that I had to work.

I could stay home, sleep, do my own thing.

The kids could do their own thing.  Be crazy, play in the yard. Noah could do his own thing.  Whip up fabulous food.  Try to make things perfect and quiet for me.  Together they could all go visit relatives without me.

I will be reading a book, sleeping. going on a walk.


It was a busy night at work..  In the morning however, my friend walked toward me with a chocolate cupcake.  "For you", she said.  What a lovely surprise, and what a lovely pile of frosting it had perched on it's top.   I carefully set it next to me as I finished my charting.  I was too late, I decided, to make it home before everyone left for church so I decided to do a last act of kindness. 

Someone really wanted a Sunday paper, and the only way to get one is to buy one out of a machine.  I didn't know if I had the money, but I dug and dug in my giant purse and finally came up with enough.  I walked all of the way to the machine, and it only accepted quarters.  Not willing to give up that easily I went in search for change for my dollar bill.  That accomplished, I headed back to the machine.  I put my money in cheerfully, looking forward to passing along the paper.  The last quarter dropped.  The door wouldn't open. 

It just would not open.  Nor would it return my money. 

I analyzed the box.  No way to get in, and besides someone in a vehicle outside the door was looking at me quite skeptically as I shook the machine.  I dropped in another quarter, just to see if that would knock something loose.  It didn't.

I had no more money and no newspaper.

Disheartened, I headed for my car.

I sat in the parking ramp and ate my whole cupcake.  It left purple frosting on my nose.

I drove home to find kids who were half excited that I was home and half sad that I had missed the amazing "breakfast in bed" complete with dandilions wrapped in furry leaves that they had prepared for me.  The hot chocolate was cold, and the toast was a little stiff, but it was still wonderful.

The card was sweet, and their faces proud.

Deacon wore his secret smile.

My favorite part though was the way that the card was divided into sections and they each had a box.  Deacon had written Berean's words for her.   "I love  you". Siblings.  A collaborative effort to honor their mom.  Older helping the youngers.  Sharing an experience.

I sat at the computer to check facebook.  2 globs of jelly fell from my toast to the keyboard.

The kitchen is a mess, Noah seemed harried.

I doubt that I will get the things on my list this year:
A garage that is clean enough to park in
A garden that is ready to plant
5 kids and a husband who are willing to help me clean the whole house from top to bottom

But what I have is pretty great too: coworkers that bring me surprises, a job to help support our family, money to help those in need (even if it doesn't always work!), 5 beautiful children who love me and each other, an extended family and friends to love and support us, my own mom and mother-in-law who are  amazing women of God, and a husband who cooks for me, supports my every venture  and tries very hard to match his brand of crazy with mine.

Wednesday, May 7, 2014


The long winter that we experienced in these parts has given way to a sad spring.  I am trying to get yard work done, but quite frankly, it is hard to get motivated when it is cold or windy or rainy.  Sometimes it is all three.

I have the internet situation in a temporary fix for now, so at least I can use it. Well, I can use it until someone trips over the cord that is running from the computer upstairs down two flights of stairs and into the back of the boy's room.  It is a little awkward.

I will post May goals soon, I have been doing them :)  April was a bust, but I will try to get those up too. 

Here are just a few general updates:

Deacon- He wears a coonskin cap and a paracord necklace.  He draws and dreams.  He reads and has started writing his first novel. He is on paragraph one.  His greatest desire right now is to be on a dodge ball team.  He loves dodge ball, and it is really all that he wants to do with his time and his life.  Every day, as soon as the neighbor kids get home from school, the boys in the neighborhood converge in one back yard and play massive dodge ball games.  They have been throwing volley balls, basketballs and soccer balls at each other with full strength.  They do this for hours at a time.  They come home with red faces and happy hearts.  The host yard family has decided to invest in some playground balls, and the soccer, volley and basketballs have been banned from dodgeball use (as of today).  Deke has also started Little League, but he loves dodgeball more.

Roman- He participates in the dodgeball shenanigans - half heartedly at times, but he likes to be where the action is, so there he goes.  He is only happy when he has had enough time in the lego room, and continues to awe us all with the lego creations that he concocts daily.  He is a leader and organizes people and objects well.

Lincoln has had two Little League practices.  He is determined to keep up with this brothers, and has turned into a fast little runner and an intense ball player.  He remains the quiet one, but puts his head down and plays with the best of them.  He also loves dodgeball very much. He and Berean also have been playing together a lot, which is fun to see.

Berean- This little lady is hilarious.  She likes to talk, she likes to analyze her social environment and  she likes to be in the middle of everything.  Cooking,  reading, running around outside, playing school, writing her name, making cards, swimming, riding her bike.  She throws herself into everything wholeheartedly and is often heard exclaiming, "I love ......" or "This is the best day of my whole life!"  Swimming is her latest skill. She can float on her back for long periods of time, jump in, puts her face in the water and paddles her arms around. She was a little angry about swimming lessons because she has a boy teacher.  One day I heard her mumbling to herself, "there has got to be a way to get out of swimming lessons!"  She was unable to find one, however, despite trying to call both Grandmas to rescue her, and she now appears to be ok with her "boy teacher".

Oh Ever.  She likes to do everything for herself.  She likes to play pretend.  She likes to be outside.  She is exhausting, and charming.  She is exasperating and loving.  She loves dogs and her mom.  She screams when I leave her somewhere, but only until I get out of her sight, then she is fine.  She is easily excited and can always find things to do- usually things she is not supposed to do, but at least she is independent and self motivated, right?

We have had 5 children for over 2 years now, but I feel like this winter and spring has been the hardest parenting time for me since the boys were young. 

But, as I know, the good times don't last, but neither do the hard times.