Long before we had 3 children and long after I developed my elementary school "crush" on Noah we were caught in that middle ground of "dating". Kind of. As I have alluded to in another post, it wasn't exactly dating. It was just kind of being "loosely together but never when cornered" kind of relationship. Yes, Noah doesn't like to be understood and never has.
At the particular time of this story we were both in pursuit of our liberal arts education and I think that we were getting a little more serious. Like serious to the point that we decided one day to go to Arby's/Sbarro together for lunch. Alone. That's serious. Especially since it was probably only like a month later that we were engaged. Yeah, I know. Strange relationship.
Anyway, Sbarro had a lunch buffet and so that is what we both decided to get. We went and sat down at our table for 2 when we noticed a middle aged man making the rounds of the restaurant. We gathered from the things we could hear him say and the way he was interacting with the clientele that this was his hangout, his stomping grounds, if you will. He apparently took the bus from somewhere to this Arby's everyday at lunch time.
He eventually made it around to our table and paused. We looked at each other nervously. He pulled a chair up and said to us, "Have you ever seen the movie 'Speed'?" And that is where I made my fatal mistake. I said, "No".
"You haven't seen it?!" He replied, "But you really must! You look exactly like the girl in there...who was she, again?"
"Sandra Bullock", Noah said helpfully. Thanks, dear.
"Yes, that is it- you look exactly like Sandra Bullock!"
Now, I don't know what he was thinking. I don't look like Sandra Bullock.
Here is Sandra Bullock:
Here is a picture of me:
Not so much alike, are we? As my mom would say, "yes, you do look alike. You both have 2 eyes, a nose and a mouth." My mom is funny that way.
After we established the actresses' name, the man continues to tell us what a travesty it is that I haven't seen the movie. He decides to help me out and sit there with us on our date and recount for us the entire plot and subplots of "Speed"!
In the middle of the rendition I felt like I needed a break and I excused myself to go get some more pizza. When I got back to the table he looked at Noah and said, "your girlfriend sure eats a lot!" At that point in my life I was mortified. At this point in my life I would say, "you'd better believe it. And I bet I can finish a Chipotle Burrito faster than you too". But those were the days before Chipotle.
But we are talking about that moment, and at that moment I was embarassed. He must have picked up on the awkwardness and quickly tried to explain himself: "that is really good though. I think it is so much healthier when a girl eats. I used to hang out at Bonanza (anyone remember that place? Meal and then buffet?) One day I was eating there and there was this girl and she would eat and eat and eat and then go into the bathroom to vomit. " He didn't know the word bulimic so he just described to us the whole process he thought she was doing and why it was so harmful. "I went over and explained it all to the manager," he said proudly, "just so he would know what was going on. But you, I am so glad that you are a good eater and that you aren't going into the bathroom to vomit."
We sat there feeling a little shocked and unsure of what to say next. I am sure we said some pleasantries like, "yes, I am glad I am not bulimic too" and "I guess we will have to see that movie sometime". And then we left. And I don't think we ever went back at lunchtime again.
That day we wanted a date. Just the 2 of us. We thought that a 3rd would make a crowd.
That day he needed someone to talk to. Just the 3 of us. He thought that 3 would make good company.
That day we realized that sometimes 3 as company trumps 3 being a crowd.
This post is part of September's Soap Opera Sunday. The theme for this month is "Three's Company, or... Three's a Crowd". Heather is hostessing this month, so check out more stories and the rules (so you can post one too!) over at TheExtraordinaryOrdinary
9 comments:
That is hilarious!!!
"Yes, I am glad I'm not a bulimic too" Priceless!
Thank you for joining in!
I remember Bonanza!! It was my favorite! Mostly because they had ice cream and sprinkles. :)
What a funny story. :) And it has the makings of a really good personal essay. :)
hey I have heard that story before...and I love that line about all having 2 eyes, 2 ears and a mouth- a classic mom line.
Oh man I got the quote wrong and everything...I guess I didn't listen to mom very well...I didn't think 2 eyes, 2 ears and mouth sounded right so I looked back...of course it is 2 eyes, a nose and a mouth, sorry mom
But I remember liking Speed in HS because Sandra Bullock in that movie reminded me of you...
Oh...so awkward! And yet you put such a sweet little twist on it at the end. I hope (trust) you got some good alone time soon...and probably loved each other all the more for making space for this guy who needed "company".
Hysterical! What a first date! Our first date was at Burger King!
Julie and I don't remember it precisely the same, but it is accurate.
I don't think that was the first "official date," but it was early on in the "official period."
I guess maybe it depends on what one means when one talks about the "first date." (See http://theanticsofthethree22nds.blogspot.com/2008/07/practical-joke.html )
(Yes, sometimes I do hate to be understood :)
I loved Bonanza! And way too funny, I always leave Billy in awkward situations... I either meander towards something waaayyy more interesting like, some kid picking his nose - oh wait, that would be mine...
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