I Think a Psychologist is in his Future

I had the above book out the other day. I was looking up something. Back in the day we didn't have good old Google or Wikepedia. We looked stuff up in our textbooks and these archaic computerized article databases. We did have email, though, so we were sort of cool.



Anyway, I kept all of my old nursing textbooks and I will occasionally use them for reference if I just can't get an answer from good old Web MD.



I should have waited until the boys were occupied, but I didn't. Sure enough Deacon wandered over and started looking over my shoulder...



fast forward 20 years. Deacon and his lovely young wife are in marriage counseling...

Deacon's 9 month pregnant wife: "I don't know why, but he just refuses to be present at the birth. And I really want him there for me. And for our baby."

Counselor: "Deacon, what is holding you back from being present as your child, your own flesh and blood, takes his first breath?"

Deacon: "The only thing I can think of Dr, is a vague memory from childhood...some picture of a woman getting bigger and bigger...and then..."

Back to present:

Anyway, when I set the book down Deacon started to look at it. I was a little wary of it, because I didn't really know what he would come across. So I stayed close and answered his questions about the pictures of the baby growing in utereo. I didn't want to freak out and insist that he put it away, because I thought that may make things worse. After looking at the pictures of the babies growing he set the book aside and went to play. I took the book and put it back into the office.

fast forward 20 years:

Counselor: "Yes, Deacon, then what happened?"

Deacon: "I don't know. I think I stopped looking at the book, but later it seems to me that I found some pictures later of a woman...and she was on her hands and knees and it looked like she was pooping a baby right out..."

back to present:

Sure enough, on Saturday when I woke up from my nap after work, Noah said with a concerned look, "have you been discussing babies and giving birth with Deacon?"

"Well, we were looking at my text book and talking about how the babies grow inside of the mommies..."

"He found the book again, Julie, and he was looking at it and he said, 'look at this Dad. The baby grows and grows inside of the mommy, and then when it is big enough she poops it right out!'"

"what did you say?" I asked (very glad it was him, not me).

"I told him that the mom didn't poop the baby out, even though that is what it might look like. I told him there is another opening very close to the bottom called the vagina. There is a tunnel to that opening and that is where babies come through." (that is my husband, very technical :) "He said, 'oh, ok' and that was it."

[He didn't believe me initially, I had to show him another picture to prove it -N]

I didn't realize which picture he'd seen. Later, I saw the pictures that Noah said he was looking at. Ugh...unusual birthing position and relatively graphic...hopefully he won't have to see a baby coming out like that again until he is in the labor room with his wife...and hopefully he won't have a flashback to those pictures at just the wrong time...

Ugh...

Just a side note: I am apparently losing credibility. Deacon said to Noah, "I want to be a nurse when I grow up. There is a problem though. Mom says that there are boy nurses, but I am just not sure that there really is."

Noah backed me up and said that there were boy nurses. Deacon asked him how he knew that. Noah explained that I had told him about them and that he had seen them working when he was at the hospital. Deacon then asked, "Did you see them outside or were you walking around peeking in the windows?"

What have we done to make him so suspicious of our motives, and how is this gender bias ingrained in him so early?! I have always talked about female MDs I work with and male nurses I work with. It must be all those books I read him... Mostly I blame the one about Curious George at the hospital. All of those nurses in little white dresses. Even Deacon knows a man just couldn't pull that off.