Monday, August 30, 2010

Some Helpful Hints

1. If you are camping with four kids, and one of them gets diarrhea, it may be in everyone's best interest to go home. Quickly.

2. If your 3 year old desperately needs to pee and you stop by the side of the road so that he can pee in the cornfield, make sure that you face him with his BACK to the wind.

3. During the "peeing by the side of the road" times, make sure to be charming to the police officer who pulls up behind you. You really want to avoid getting a ticket for a 3 year old's "public urination".

4. Undercooked hotdogs will not kill anyone. Neither will burned marshmallows. At least not right away.

5. Husbands who are left alone for a couple days can be very productive.

6. When you ask your husband to order you some books on Amazon (because he handles all internet purchases), you may get some raised eyebrows and worried looks when you tell him that the name of one of the books is "How to Get a New Husband By Friday".

7. If you order said book, husband may read it and suddenly become increasingly charming, kind and helpful.

8. It is an excellent idea to give your husband (or roomates) (or kids) specific job titles. This increases productivity and ownership of certain tasks. For example, my husband is "Chief Security Officer" (responsible for bringing my purse in from the car, locking up at night and protecting everyone from any evil). He is also "Fly Bounty Hunter" (responsible for the demise of any flies that venture into any space that our family occupies). "Internet Safety Expert" and "Pay Pal Purchasing Specialist" are 2 of his other titles.

9. Do not put a motivated baby (even a non-mobile baby) within 7.5 feet of a stack of newspapers. Suddenly you will have a mobile baby.

10. When one of your children is getting dedicated in the front of church, be glad that your husband remembers the fiasco from 2 years ago called "wouldn't it be great if all of our children came up front to participate in the baby's dedication"? Because if he remembers, you will be able to avoid duplicating said fiasco.

Hope those hints help someone today!


Karla said...

I don't know about #1... he was fine (not feeling sick) and mostly made it to the bathroom every time...

Thia said...

Never a dull moment.