Ahh...Bikini edition. You are all interested, aren't you?
Before I go on though, I will make a couple of things clear:
1. I know that I am not always the most conservative dresser.
2. I know that things are not always perfectly proper around our house. For example, just last week my 5 year old grudgingly agreed to give underwear/boxers/boxerbriefs another "try".
But now, let's talk about the little bikinis. Or even just moderately small 2 pieces.
Deacon and Roman are in swimming lessons on Saturdays. One of Deacon's coswimmers is a little girl about his age. She is bound for model-dom. There is no hint of the little girl baby chubby belly on her. She is long legged and very cute. And she wears a bikini. And sometimes while she is waiting her turn on the edge of the pool she dances a little. You know, just the typical little High School Musical or Hannah Montana number.
All cute and innocent, except that she is wearing a bikini and dancing next to my little boy.
And it makes me uneasy.
You see, Mothers of Girls, I am a mother of boys. And I am going to do my best to teach them to respect women, to avert their eyes if necessary. To keep their little hands to themselves.
But what is a mother to do when from such a very young age they are surrounded by bikini clad dancing peers?
And Deacon looks at her admiringly.
I know that now he admires her for her amazing swimming skills and that she is a fun loving little girl - but I am sure that will change at some point.
And then what?
So here is the question:
Mothers of Girls: Do you let your girls wear bikini'sor moderately skimpy 2 pieces? Is there an age that you will/would make them wear something more conservative?
Mothers of boys: am I the only one who is nervous about this?
Everyone else: What do you think about it?
I want everyone to contribute a comment on this! I really want to hear some different perspectives!
[Edit: You can't lead into a post like this and then not leave the readers a picture of a bikini! -NB]
11 comments:
I give you the Burqini: http://www.ahiida.com/index.php?a=results&subcat=65
ha! you sure got me on the picture of the bikini........not quite sure what I was expecting to see.
As a mother of girls, I must say there is nothing i love more than a chubby lil girl in a bikini. And by "lil" I mean less than the age of 2. After that I prefer the Speedo one pieces......good coverage............though there was that one time I had to send Addie to a homeschooling event in a bikini........not sure why I even had one in a bigger girl size, but whatev. What to do when your mother in law gets your 8 year old a bikini that won't fit her for another couple years?
A controversial topic I would like to see you address is provocative dancing. We don't have cable and the kids have never seen MTV, Hannah Montana, or High School Musical, but the dances these girls come up with are quite provocative. WHat to do!?!?!?!?
Peter, you didn't share. What are you going to do with Alethea?
Joolee, I have noticed that with girls. My little boys are white boys with no rhythm and no moves. There is no dancing in our house. Even if I try to dance with them, they are like little wooden statues. Hmmm...maybe we will have to cover it sometime :)
There are enough pedophiles out there that I would not put my girls in anything other than a one-piece suit when they were growing up.
Besides bikini's, I don't like the shorts and sweats that have writing across the rear end. Who wants attention drawn to that part of their daughter's anatomy?
Guys (those who are trying) have enough trouble keeping their focus where it should be without adding things that draw their attention where it doesn't belong.
I am not a fan, in general, of swimsuits, and often wear a sundress/skirt to cover everything anyway (or simply choose not to swim). As a woman with a longer torso, I have always hated one-piece suits, so I have to admit, I have become a fan of the tankini. My girls are built the same way…so I often buy them two piece swim suits that have long tank-top tops so as to make the suit appear to be a one piece, but still provide full coverage without the persistent snuggie. I frown upon bikinis for most of the reasons stated; I want my girls to learn that men view a woman’s body differently, and that respect must be a two-way street. We do have family members that are involved in our clothing purchases that do not always meet my requirements.
Good post and great discussion here. I agree that a chubby little toddler in a bikini is absolutely adorable but beyond the toddler age, we have chosen to stick to one piece swimsuits. We talk a lot with our girls about what is appropriate and what isn't and how and why it is best to not show too much skin. I think it is really important to start teaching our girls this when they are very young because it would be much harder to suddenly backtrack when they are 12 and say certain things are no longer allowed.
If they are taught modesty from early on, it will hopefully carry on into the teen years. I like what the other commenters said too about not giving boys any reasons to stumble and keeping our girls covered because of the pedophiles around. It's just better for everybody! :)
On a totally different topic, I just wanted to let you know that I'm still running and it's going great. I'm doing it at the Y now and I've also started doing some weights. Fun, fun! :)
I seriously have no idea how I feel about this topic.
Billi,
I myself haven't worn a one piece in years. I always wear a tankini and I personally feel that they are more modest (legs are cut lower etc). And an extra bonus is that it is easier to pee!
Momma Bear,
I think it is ok that you don't know what you think about it.
And by the way, who has been messin' with my post. Do I need better password protection over here?
I think two piece suits are OK. The bikini subcategory may be OK, or it may not be. Depends on the individual case. We will burn that bridge when we get to it :).
My TV watching is mostly limited to ESPN and FSN, so I don't know what the dancing on the Disney channel looks like. BUT, I went to a T-Wolves game earlier this year the halftime show featured students from a dance school in Shoreview. It was disgusting. We're talking girls down to kindergarten age, and all they were missing was a brass pole. Alethea won't be going near that place.
I have to agree wtih what joolee said about girls 2 and under in bikinis and also what Lesley said. Our Alathia had a darling little strawberry bikini when she was tiny but it still covered everything well and wasn't "sexy." We teach modesty a lot too and my girl gets into it by coming and asking me if an outfit is modest or telling me she put a shirt under a tanktop so I can't see her chest. Teach them while they are young and moldable.
As a mom of boys, it does make me very nervous! I am actually going to do a Modesty night at church this winter for the teen girls because it is an ENORMOUS problem in our church. Some of the homeschooled cowboys that drive an hour to come in to church have never seen so much skin as they've seen in church (according to their older sis who is my friend). That's sad if those girls are saved and have been told about it! I must say, since I'm not a guy and don't know how they think, I am a little perplexed as to how to go about teaching my boys about purity. I think I'll leave that up to their daddy and just reinforce what he teaches! =)
Some of my daughter's friends, age 5 and 6, are already so provocative it's disgusting. They talk about being sexy and move their bodies in icky ways and have pretend boyfriends they talk to. Way too much TV and pop culture in their house and that's why we limit playdates. I keep thinking that it's so dangerous for them to be thinking along those lines at such a young age.
Along the lines of this question, at what point does a mom stop undressing in front of her sons? My husband stopped letting Alathia take a shower with him and the other kids at 4 and doesn't change in front of her and now I am wondering when I should start "hiding" from my boys. Any thoughts?
LS,
at our YMCA boys 5 and older are not allowed in the women's locker room. I kind of took that as the time to start being more careful about covering up.
However, it is really hard. When we go swimming I take them into the family locker rooms. They are not old enough to wait for me in the hallway while I dress, so I just try to shower in my suit and change while they are in the shower etc. There are always times of crisis though, so I haven't found a perfect solution.
I do keep them out while I shower and stuff and try to emphasize privacy.
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