Thursday, April 24, 2008

The principle of the Duck Billed Dinosaur


When Deacon was just a little guy we attended an event where there was a table of prizes. As a special treat, we decided to get him something. There was a collection of plastic dinosaurs that he was interested in- especially the Duck Billed Dinosaur. Unfortunantly for Deacon, Noah thought the Duck Billed Dinosaur was a little lame, he preferred the Stegasaurus. Of course as young parents we were convinced that if we got the Stegasaurus for Deacon he would soon see the error of his ways and realize that the Stegasaurus was much cooler than old Duck Bill. So we did. And Deacon would have nothing to do with that Stegasaurus. Ever. The end.

Well, not really the end. We refer to the "Principle of the Duck Billed Dinosaur" often when we are tempted to "control" the kids' choices. When one of us is tempted to step in and choose something for the boys that we consider "better", the other one of us gently says, "remember the dinosaur". Then we sheepishly grin and say no more about the merits of the black sweatband versus the blue one or the normal looking googles versus the silly ones. We believe in teaching our children that their decisions matter and have consequences. Deacon can learn that he is welcome to wear goggles, my headband (which is what he wore as a sweatband until Daddy took him to the "sports guy" store to get a real sweat band) and his backward pants to Target - but at the same time he will also learn that people may laugh. Then he gets to decide if he is going to dress normally or if he is going to not let their laughter affect his strong fashion sense :)

Now, I am not totally cruel. I don't always know if he is aware that his clothes are not right, so I do usually say something like, "Dekes, your shorts are on backward. Do you want me to help you straighten them out, or are they ok?" And he almost always replies, "I like them this way, mom". So I say, "ok, let's go".
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