If you know me in real life, you know that I am a planner, a list-maker and that I always have big dreams and goals. I constantly challenge myself. I don't always succeed and some of my goals on my list remain there month after month and year after year without being accomplished- but, I am always trying.
The other morning while running on my treadmill I started watching a netflix movie on my Kindle. The movie was I Don't Know How She Does It. (once again, no one knows or cares that I am writing a "review" of this on my blog). I remember reading about this movie when it first came out and thinking it sounded like it may be good, but then quickly decided not to bother with it when I saw it's lousy reviews and PG-13 rating. Yes, I avoid PG-13 rated movies unless they have been specifically recommended to me by a trusted source. (this movie did have strong language at times and some coarse humor). It is about a woman who is juggling career and family.
Anyway, this movie struck a chord with me. No, I don't have a fancy job- who cares if I go to work with baby pee on my shoe, if it doesn't happen at home it will probably happen at work. But some of the scenes in the movie echoed my own life so much that I didn't know whether to laugh or wince.
The movie ended and I was left thinking about it all- the juggling of motherhood and work, the pursuit of happiness for your family or happiness for yourself. And the guilt that we as mothers feel - both the guilt brought on from within as well as guilt brought on by the judgementalism of other mothers.
I appreciated the fact that the main character did not quit her job at the end of the movie. That is not always the solution to the problem. And of course making your family suffer while you pursue your own dreams is not a good outcome either. Ultimately the main character decided that she needed to let some things that were less important become less important.
I do a lot of reflecting in my life and am constantly trying to tweak and refine my goals and the things that are important to me. I am always asking myself, "how can I streamline my life and make the most use of my time without giving up the important things?"
The things that I admire about other women helps me to see what I consider to be important and what I have no inclination for in my own life.
*I admire creative people and would love to find time to be more creative.
*I admire women I know that are in very "equal" relationships- ones where their husbands don't put them in a box- and I am grateful to have a husband that doesn't treat me like a domestic servant/nanny
*I admire women who enjoy their children and actually love to spend time with their children- and I want to make sure that I make having fun with my kids a priority.
*I admire women who love to hang out with their husbands- even if it is just painting a room together. I am grateful that Noah and I actually do get to spend time together and I am glad that he likes to hang out with me.
*I admire women that still invite people over, even if their house is not as clean as they would like it to be- these are often the most creative women that I know, or the ones who actually play with and spend time with their kids- you can't have it all, and I am still daily struggling with those priorities and decisions.
*I admire women who have interests outside their home and families
*I admire women who take their children out and explore new places and the outdoors
*I admire women that get that it is ok if not everything that they do/make/create looks straight off of a "domestic diva" pinterest page.
It is a work in progress- this life I lead; but constantly improving, adjusting, striving is what I like best :)