Thursday, April 8, 2010

Start Over

I keep starting posts and not finishing them. Both in my head and on paper.

The first 3 days of this week have been the hardest since Berean was born. Not really that hard- just harder than the last few.

Berean isa mellow baby and has even slept 5 hour stretches a couple times! But this week Deacon and I have colds and well, it is just harder to deal with everything when I am not feeling perfect.

Let me break it down:

Constant fighting amongst the brothers + tick on Lincoln's head (ok, so I am a freak about ticks) + doors being left open + children thinking they can leave the house whenever they want + attempts to skateboard in the living room + laundry, oh so much laundry + clutter, oh so much clutter + cooler weather than last week + sick me = hardest week since I became a mother of 4.

But enough whining. Right now the older two are happily playing with their (890 piece) Ewok lego set (with strict orders to keep all 890 pieces on the table) and the little ones are sleeping. Which is amazing because Lincoln doesn't usually nap unless we are in the car.

So I should be eliminating clutter, but instead I am trying to finish a post.

Protecting Berean has been a concern of ours. The boys are exuberant, somewhat clumsy and don't always have the most sense. So Noah and I have been exceptionally vigilant (for our laid back selves) at keeping the baby safe.

But I have been doing a lot of thinking about that phrase, "keeping the baby safe".

I have read a lot of parenting magazines and articles, and every couple months or so I come across one cautioning a new mom to let the new dad interact with the baby "dad style". That means maybe a little rougher, maybe a little more "playing", maybe with a little less finesse. And they say that babies need that different style, and need that "dad" kind of interaction. And they say not to squelch that love expressed in a daddy kind of way.

I'm thinking there is a brother style of love too, and I have decided not to squelch it. Maybe redirect it at times, but not squelch it. Never that.

I had Berean in my lap this morning and all three boys were crowded around us. One was patting her head, all were talking to her in high little voices. Deacon said, "What little girls need a lot of is love." Roman chimed in, "They need to be surrounded with love." Then Deacon paused and looked at me and asked, "why do girls need so much love, anyway?"

They kiss her.
They talk to her.
They get in her face at an obnoxiously close distance.
They sing to her.
They move her arms and legs to get her to dance.
They give her toys.
They try to get her to take her pacifier.
They find her things to look at.
They hold her.
They all 3 love her in their own little ways.
Brother style.

So I will keep her safe.
And I will explain to them how to read her cues.

But I think this little girl is going to benefit from the brother-love, and I know that she is a blessed baby sister!


Grandma Debbie said...

You have to wonder (at least I do) how they would have treated a new brother. Would it be the same???

AllyJoy said...

Yea for brother-love!! I love that you will not squelch it:). Babies are amazingly tough little people anyway with all the cartilage!

The Three 22nds said...

I imagine that a baby brother would still have been treated well, but I don't think quite the same as a little sister.

It is just funny to me how much they love her and how little they care about any other baby.

Johanna said...

I knew there was a reason I always wished my brothers had been older than I. Having three younger brothers didn't elicit the same kind of love. Haha.
Oh, and about your laundry. I feel the same way about my dishes. I ALWAYS have dishes to wash! I am really looking forward to moving in with a dishwasher (potentially of the human variety, but the more current occasion will be of the machine variety)