Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Walking in the Moonlight

We had kind of a disorganized day on Monday. Noah's car didn't start, so he got into work late and then got home late.

Going on a run was on my agenda for the evening, but by the time things were settled enough for me to leave, it was nearly 10:30pm. So I opted for a quick 1 mile run and than a cool down walk -just to do something. (I had pushed the boys in the double stroller for a mile in the afternoon, and I think that was harder than my run).

My neighborhood doesn't have very many streetlights and it was very dark out. We live in a neighborhood, but it is surrounded by some ponds, woods and open areas so we do see a lot of wildlife. Right now a bunny and snake coexist in our back yard and I am constantly on the lookout for deer while driving through the hood at night.

I have a one mile route worked out so if I go out in the evening, I can just go around it multiple times and never be more than 1/2 mile from home. Why don't I want to go further than that? Because I am afraid of raccoons.

I may have shared this before (I wouldn't know because I don't label my posts) but a few years ago we were walking through the neighborhood in late afternoon. We walked past a sewer grate and did a double take. I kid you not- Noah and I both saw it- there was a gigantic raccoon peering at us through the grate.

So now I know that raccoons live down there and I am convinced that they are in fact waiting for me to run by at night at which time they will leap out of the sewer and start chasng me with their sharp little teeth and their rabid saliva.

One of the streets that I run on is bordered by a woods that spans a few blocks. I know there are all sorts of scary things back there as well as sewer grates on the street. This is also the street without street lights and where the guy who jumps rope and wears a Slayer shirt lives. (Talk about freaking out- the time I saw him 3 times on my run, one of them when he was standing at the very end of his very long driveway jumping rope and watching me run by. Scary).

That is also the street where the young couple lost one of their brand new bocce balls down into the sewer grate. They were contemplating sending their dog down there to retrieve it and were asking us if we thought it was a good idea. We told them there were raccoons down there. Shudder.

Anyway, so I ended up running a mile and than walking another. I got home and Noah asked me how things were. I explained to him that I was so scared and it was so dark that I had run down the middle of the street. This was to help me avoid raccoons appearing from the grates and any foxes or other creatures that may be dashing out of the woods. He said, "you should be more worried about cars."

Me: "cars have headlights so you can see them. All raccoons have are beady little eyes. Raccoons are like people on meth. They are undpredictable. That is why I despise animals. They are unpredictable."

(deleted long explanation about why mice are much more scary than spiders - which Noah vehemently disagreed with)

Me: "In fact", I said, "as I was running down the other street a car approached me from behind. I observed the headlights so I went to jump up on the curb. But there was a mailbox there. So my foot was going to land on a sewer grate. I diverted my leap so I would land back in the road. I would rather take my chances with the car than with a rabid raccoon."

N: "You are insane. Even if a raccoon was in there he just couldn't leap out. He would have to squeeze out."

Me: "Whatev, Dude. You haven't seen what a determined rabid raccoon can do."

The end.


Karla said...

this is why I love my are amazing!

joolee said...

I am petrified of raccoons....for the exact same reasons you mentioned, though it never occurred to me that they might live under the drainage grates:( I have been known to run up the steps (inside the house) as fast as I can for fear of raccoons chewing thru our kitchen screen and chasing me to lick the peanut butter off my fingers. seriously. I've had some pretty scary run-ins with coons. Maybe we should start a support group or something?