Sunday, August 28, 2011

Impending Doom

I get asked all the time "How do you do it? You have 4 kids, you are pregnant. You are working, you are homeschooling."

And my honest answer is: I have good help. I have a supportive husband and extremely helpful extended family.

But, my other honest thought is: I have no idea.

Right now I have a feeling of impending doom. It is a feeling brought on by school starting again. Not only is school starting, but a rigorous fall schedule of juggling MD appointments, work, classes, therapy, school, church, exercise. Not to mention my own personal time and time just chillin' with my peeps.

On paper, it all fits. But in reality, will it work?

I didn't pencil in extra time for melt downs and temper tantrums.

I didn't schedule cleaning up spills and rescuing people from the tops of things.

I didn't schedule phone calls from friends, and extra time in the yard.

I would like an addition to our house, but when would I manage that?

Right now I am feeling overwhelmed.

And I know that once we start school and get into a rhythm that things will work out.

But right now I don't know how it will go, how they will adjust.

All day long now they play and run and swing and play some more.

And I wash dishes.

But pretty soon we will be doing school, and when will I wash dishes?

Is Berean going to scream all day because she is not the center of attention?

Will we find hours in between Lincoln's therapy for school?

Will I ever run again?

How will I get these people to go to sleep at night?

Should we send the older boys downstairs to split them up?

I don't know. And today I feel overwhelmed.

Tomorrow may be different.

I guess we will see.


Elise said...

I do always wonder how other people manage to raise children without the support of their extended family. We are blessed. Hang in there!

Thia said...

That feeling of impending doom is hard to deal with. I pray that this morning you see at least a glimmer of hope. Hugs and chocolate.