Roman- Family Director of Play

Roman James is our 2nd born. We named him Roman after the book of Romans in the Bible. Romans is a book that talks a lot about how salvation works, and how it is through grace. James is his middle name. James is my dad's middle name and is also Noah's Grandpa's 1st name. James is also a book in the Bible that talks a lot about how important it is for Christian's to do the right thing.



Grace and works. Romans and James. Trying to fit them together, trying to figure out how to live.



And our Roman James kind of has two sides too.



Roman loves his pajamas, candy and snacks. This picture was taken on Easter. He wore his Easter clothes over his pjs, and as soon as he walked in the door after church the Easter clothes came off.



Deacon and he often butt heads during play. Deacon is the oldest so he thinks he is in charge, but Roman is the one who really likes imaginary play. Roman likes to tell everyone else what to say and who to be. He has a vivid imagination and he is also really good at building things out of duplos, blocks etc.



Roman can be very loving but also has a bad temper. He likes babies- mostly animal babies though, he tells me. When we were at the zoo in South Dakota last year he had no interest in the alligators, camels or rhinos. He liked the baby animals at the petting zoo and the fake jeep that you could sit in and pay a quarter to "ride".



He is a very independent child and has a certain twinkle in his eye. Roman is incredibly smart and clever. The other morning I came downstairs and Roman had the refrigerator door open. I asked why. "Tell me to close it, Mommy!" he replied. Suddenly I realized what was happening on day two of the "obeying mommy" jar. Yes, indeed, he was doing things he knew I would tell him to stop so that he could "obey" and get a penny.



Roman really likes costumes as well. I hold out hope that he will like to be involved in plays and musicals. He has very little interest in sports at this time, but does like to swim and ride his bike. I can see him being more of an independent sport kind of guy vs Deacon who is very into teams.



Roman is incredibly loyal to his family, especially his brothers. He cues into other people's emotions really well. He is the one in the morning that is up and trying to get his brothers (or his mom and dad!) to get up and come and play. He has less need to go places than Deacon does and really would rather just hang out with his family more than other people.



Roman is more of a hands on learner and figures things out quickly. Of all of our children he is probably the least predictable and the most difficult to discipline. He has SO many strengths (most of which are not that useful to a 4 year old) that I know will be a huge benefit to him as he gets older if he uses them wisely.

Talking to him about what is going on in his world is a real delight and we love him so much!

Deacon: Our Big Picture Child

Time for some updates! Deacon takes his responsibility of "oldest child" very seriously. He is brimming with information and ideas and really, really likes parties, extreme sports and being "cool".

Deke and I rode our bikes to the park the other day to play a little football. (He always thinks he can throw much further than he actually can, so it was more running than playing). Anyway, when we got there and got off our bikes he gently reminded me that I should probably take my helmet off and "just leave it by your bike like I do, mom". Poor kid has pretty uncool parents.

He really just wants to be an awesome skateboarder who makes movies. He keeps up a running monologue at all times. Yesterday we were biking and this is what he said about his future plans, "I'd really like to be one of those construction workers so that I could go on roofs. Either that or make movies. I think I will stick with making movies though, probably."

Deacon can be a little wild and get into trouble in exciting situations, but at home he really is the easiest of my kids to deal with. He is pretty happy and willing to help out and do things and works at getting everyone motivated. Berean reminds me of Deacon when he was a baby- a baby that was always willing to give me the benefit of the doubt and only cried in really important situations. And honestly, if Berean ends up like Deacon in personality, we will be lucky (though our ears may be stressed out.) Deacon holds Berean and talks to her in running monologue and even inserts jokes. It is pretty cute.

Deacon is not a big fan of Kindergarten, mostly because he would rather be playing. He is a "big picture" kid who loves being read to- fiction, nonfiction, history, geography and science. He learns really well by listening and will listen to whatever I choose to read for hours.

He is learning how to read and is doing a good job, but it is harder for him than just learning about the world. He is doing pretty well with his math, too, although he has more of an "estimator" personality who has little interest in finding out the "exact" answer. For example, a couple months ago I asked him what 5 + 6 was. He looked at the numbers for a couple seconds and responded, "I suppose it is around 12".

I guess by some, 11 is considered "around 12"

I laugh when he sits down to "work" on his "book". He doesn't color pictures or scenery. It is all diagrams, plans, and maps with plenty of arrows. Everything is done in black and he uses very minimum details to show the plans. To him the point is not to draw a person, but instead to draw a rudimentary stick figure with arrows to show what the person is doing, will be doing or should be doing. There needs to be a purpose.

I mentioned my plans for adding on to the house (someday when we have more money :) He took my ideas and ran with them. Literally ran all over the house and yard, asking me questions about why wouldn't I add on here instead of there, what will I do about this bush or that window, and how the fire hydrant will factor into all of it.

He spent 20 minutes last night discussing rocket boots, concrete skateboard parks and a ramp for his scooter.

After the discussion I told Noah that I feel a little bad that he has us as parents. We are both super practical, and although I am a dreamer- I am a dreamer with one foot firmly grounded in reality. But he sits there and tells us his plans, his dreams, and we both have to bite our tongues to keep from being overly negative.

So we are working on being supportive but making him think about things.

We started an obeying mommy jar. If I tell them to do something (a very direct command that needs immediate attention) and they do it right away without arguing they get a penny in their jar. After implementing this system I learned something new about Deacon that I had been wondering about: his problem is not obeying as much as it is listening. If he doesn't want to obey and he actually hears what we say he argues about it. His problem is that what I say usually goes in one ear and out the other. He goes off to get his shoes and gets distracted. He goes to get in the van and sees a bird in the tree.

Since we started the system he has been coming back to me a few seconds after I give him a command and asks for clarification or "what did you say again?"

For my part I have been trying to make eye contact when I tell him to do something and make sure he is listening and that his head isn't in the clouds.

He definitely keeps things moving around here and we love him dearly!

Start Over

I keep starting posts and not finishing them. Both in my head and on paper.

The first 3 days of this week have been the hardest since Berean was born. Not really that hard- just harder than the last few.

Berean isa mellow baby and has even slept 5 hour stretches a couple times! But this week Deacon and I have colds and well, it is just harder to deal with everything when I am not feeling perfect.

Let me break it down:

Constant fighting amongst the brothers + tick on Lincoln's head (ok, so I am a freak about ticks) + doors being left open + children thinking they can leave the house whenever they want + attempts to skateboard in the living room + laundry, oh so much laundry + clutter, oh so much clutter + cooler weather than last week + sick me = hardest week since I became a mother of 4.

But enough whining. Right now the older two are happily playing with their (890 piece) Ewok lego set (with strict orders to keep all 890 pieces on the table) and the little ones are sleeping. Which is amazing because Lincoln doesn't usually nap unless we are in the car.

So I should be eliminating clutter, but instead I am trying to finish a post.

Protecting Berean has been a concern of ours. The boys are exuberant, somewhat clumsy and don't always have the most sense. So Noah and I have been exceptionally vigilant (for our laid back selves) at keeping the baby safe.

But I have been doing a lot of thinking about that phrase, "keeping the baby safe".

I have read a lot of parenting magazines and articles, and every couple months or so I come across one cautioning a new mom to let the new dad interact with the baby "dad style". That means maybe a little rougher, maybe a little more "playing", maybe with a little less finesse. And they say that babies need that different style, and need that "dad" kind of interaction. And they say not to squelch that love expressed in a daddy kind of way.

I'm thinking there is a brother style of love too, and I have decided not to squelch it. Maybe redirect it at times, but not squelch it. Never that.

I had Berean in my lap this morning and all three boys were crowded around us. One was patting her head, all were talking to her in high little voices. Deacon said, "What little girls need a lot of is love." Roman chimed in, "They need to be surrounded with love." Then Deacon paused and looked at me and asked, "why do girls need so much love, anyway?"

They kiss her.
They talk to her.
They get in her face at an obnoxiously close distance.
They sing to her.
They move her arms and legs to get her to dance.
They give her toys.
They try to get her to take her pacifier.
They find her things to look at.
They hold her.
They all 3 love her in their own little ways.
Brother style.

So I will keep her safe.
And I will explain to them how to read her cues.

But I think this little girl is going to benefit from the brother-love, and I know that she is a blessed baby sister!

Yeah, she's really pink

Easter Sunday

We got up early to get all 6 of us to church by 8 am.

We made it at 8:04

It was a nice Easter morning for me.

You see, I used to cajole the boys to get them to wear something nice.

Maybe a sweater vest

(even though I only really care if they are sweater vests on the inside)

Maybe something Kahki

(even though that means more visable dirt)

Maybe something with (Heaven Forbid) BUTTONs on it

(even though I would have to button them all myself)

Or maybe just something clean

(and maybe underwear? Just because it is Easter?)

But this year I have her. See how kindly she spit up on the bed NEXT to her dress and not on it? Wasn't that sweet?

I dressed her in the dress I wore when I was a baby

Complete with the sweater, bonnet and boots handcrafted by Great Grandma Joyce

And she even wore white tights! And they were only a little baggy. And she only got a little poop on them and it was after church.

So we were happy.

And the boys were happy too.

Roman were dirty cords over his pajamas

Lincoln wore a button down over his lightning McQueen shirt

and Deacon wore his unzippable pants (wa-la Shorts!) with an athletic shirt.

I do have one nagging question.

How do you all get your boys to wear sweater vests?

Things I Never Thought I Would Say

"What do you think about getting Berean's ears pierced?"

"Do you think we should sign Deacon up for Skateboard Camp?"

"Come on guys, it is time for Star Wars Lego Character Roll Call"

"I am going to do multiple transactions so I can use more coupons"

"Why don't you just wear that again? It is not THAT dirty"

"Do you think I can get some GPS units to attach to the kids for the summer?"

Somewhat Boring

Sometimes I use facebook or my blog to remember things.

If I write notes to myself, they are bound to get lost in the stack of papers, lego pieces and half eaten easter candy on the counter.

But if I computer document them- they last.

So, this week I am planning to write updates on the kids. Maybe in 10 years or so I will have some documentation of when teeth were lost, who was potty trained when and who still insisted on wearing pjs constantly even at the age of 4.

But today, just for me, I am going to write a list of the things I want to get completed in the next 3 weeks before I return to work.

I won't be working a lot of hours, but it is something else to keep me busy- so I want to accomplish some bigger tasks before then.

1. Write baby thank you notes and get out birth announcements
2. Update the baby books. (this will be a huge task. I am going to need to figure out things like the date that Lincoln waved bye-bye for the first time. I will probably just make it up. How would he know?)
3. Outdoor winter wear washed and put away and wardrobes switched over to spring (do you have any idea what a monumentous task this is?)
4. Establish a clothes line
5. Make significant progress on lot cleanup
6. Clean/organize office
7. Clean/organize basement
8. Clean/organize garage.
9. Re-establish a reading plan

I will stop there. That will be enough to keep me busy for the next few weeks - especially since I will be spending a large portion of every day managing Legos.

What I have done so far on maternity leave
1. Instituted cloth diapering
2. Started a couponing system
3. Started seedlings indoors
4. Raking/yard work

I was...

Going to actually write out a post today,

but...

the boys are covered in dirt and are watching a movie

and...

the baby girl is sleeping

and...

I haven't taken a nap in a couple of weeks

and...

I am tired

so...

I am going to quit surfing, forget about dinner and go lay down.

APRIL FOOL's to ME!

I hear now that the baby is up and fussing.

Maybe I will get a nap tomorrow.