Why I Don't Wear Scarves

A lot of women are wearing scarves these days.  It used to only be middle aged women, but it seems the tide has shifted.  Now friends my own age wear scarves too!  I briefly wondered if I had reached middle age myself- if that was the problem.  A couple of months ago, however, I received a wedding invitation and the 20-year-old getting married was wearing a scarf in the picture!  I determined at that point that I was not just getting older (because that is true), but that the scarf trend was dipping down into the 20s, and dare I say it?  Even to the teenage girls!

Over the last couple of years I have considered joining the scarf-wearing population.  After all, it is a good way to change up a boring wardrobe and dress up the shirts that you already have.  In addition, a well placed scarf can cover over a multitude of spit up stains and...ew...chocolate from when your four-your-old used you as her napkin.

I have a cold friend.  We are both always cold, and so when we go shopping together one of the most important questions is: will we be warm enough in that for it to remain cute, or will we just cover it up with a bulky sweater or, in my case, a well worn bathrobe.  This is an important question, because there is not a lot of sense in buying something cute only to cover it up with something else.  It is the same way I feel about lingerie.  Somehow, my husband feels differently.

Anyway, my cold friend has tried to sell me on the merits of scarf-wearing from a cold lady prospective.  She says they greatly help her to stay warm.  I believe her.  I tell her that smart wool socks are the key to warmness.  That and a good stocking cap.

And I do wear a scarf in the winter.  I got it at Old Navy for a dollar.  It is striped, and I like stripes.

Aside from my winter scarf, however, I remain scarf-less.  Well, I may have one or two in my closet, but I don't wear them.  I cannot wear them.  I try to tell myself that it is just because my mom always wore them when I was little and it just feels too old and grown up for me, but somehow I don't think that is the whole truth.

The reality is that there is one picture that makes scarf wearing out of the question for me.  One picture that stands out in my mind every time I am tempted to grab a colorful scarf and tie it around my neck.  I call the picture, "The Unfortunate Red Bow".

 

Do you see the unfortunate red bow in the picture?  That single object which my mom tied around my neck that morning at the capital is the reason that I do not wear scarves right now in 2014.  She assured me that it would be festive, and I am sure it was.  She assured me that it was cool.  I am not so sure of that, but I believed her at the time.  But now, I just can't get past that picture.

 

Noah doesn't get it, "it is not a scarf", he says. And it is not. 

 

"It is an unfortunate red bow",  I respond.  And he snickers. 

 

"It is that", he replies. 

 

"Is that the day you fell in love with me?"  If it was, maybe I should reconsider the scarf/bow thing.

 

"No".  He scans the picture onto the computer.

 

And I remain scarf-free.

 

(by the way, the little boy in the picture?  Yep, that is Noah.  He has an unfortunate red stripe on his pants, but he doesn't like to bring that up.  I am just happy that it matches my bow.)